So many times I have sat down to write another post but it’s hard. Hard to find the words, hard to have hope and difficult to not get downhearted. For us it has been a challenging week. One where we ended up in a serious and dangerous situation which could have brought serious consequences to us both. Lately I have found myself absolutely crying, feeling sick and angry even seeing alcohol. I feel like it has so responsibility for the shape our journey has taken.
This week I opened up to a couple of people but found it seemed to be a common theme that people felt I should walk away. I am a christian and my goodness my faith has been challenged in the midst of this. But I have never prayed for someone as much as I have prayed for my boyfriend. Each time I see him I feel like I am loosing a bit more of the guy I fell in love with. I feel like he is loosing hope, love for life and happiness. I was told to write a list of the good points coming from the relationship and the not so good. Of course I am semi scared to do this because I do feel right now that I would find more negatives. Sometimes I miss the hugs, the dates, the daily phonecalls asking about my day. I know that some people are probably right that it seems like I should walk away. What is stopping me? HOPE. I know God is faithful and I have seen him move in situations where no-one thought that would be possible.
I always remember a quote I was told, ‘Don’t tell God how big the mountain is, tell the mountain how big your God is’. So right now I hope I can ask you all to join in alongside me to pray for my bf. I was challenged today about how to pray and thinking about how I pray. I pray that God will comfort us, show me the path, give me signs and renew my hope. Right now I feel like my goodness none of us are perfect. When I think of some of the characters in the bible that God called and used. Well he can use anyone. Think of the story we will be able to tell on the other side of this how the only way this situation could be changed was through God. What a testimony! So I pray that God will keep him safe and he would move in his life.
If anyone is in a similar situation, has advice, or even just wants to hear more so they can pray for us don’t hesitate to contact me. Have a beautiful week.